Faith pt.1
It’s funny that God would have me write this blog post as I’m going through such a faith testing experience. I have 2 days to fully move out of my apartment, I have no idea how I’ll move my furniture out, no idea where I’ll be moving to, and no idea how I’ll pay for anything. Yet, every time I’ve asked God what I should do, He tells me to relax. I’ve known about this move-out day for 75 days. Everything in me has wanted to find a way to solve this problem, but God has called me to be still and trust Him. And despite having the occasional meltdowns, I’ve trusted God and my faith has been strengthened along the way. Now we’re down to the last 48 hours, and when I tell you I have felt the pressure intensely, I am not exaggerating. I have done my best to fight fear, doubt, anxiety, and disappointment off of me. I can feel the thoughts wanting to settle in, but I won’t let them because I know two things for certain:
My faith is being tested.
God has NEVER failed me, and he never will.
As I’m sitting here writing this, I know that somehow, someway, God already made it work.
Earlier this month, I had gotten a call-back from the doctor’s office after a routine check-up. They asked me to come in for additional testing to rule out any cancerous cells. I honestly can’t even tell you how I felt. Not letting fear set in, having faith that God’s in control, while also being overwhelmed that these two things were happening at the same time. After the procedure, I had to wait a week for the results. I prayed to God that they were clean but also that His will be above all else. The night before I got the results, I told God that whatever outcome He delivered, I would be grateful because I know that He only does what’s best for me, and I want whatever glorifies His name most. The next day, I called to get my results, and they told me that everything was clean and healthy, no cancerous cells or illnesses. All Glory to God! When I first got the call-back, I asked God to have mercy on me because I felt like I was experiencing enough. Now I know that God was allowing me to experience a victory before the victory. He wanted to remind me that He IS in control and He CAN do the impossible. My faith was rebooted in the most beautiful way.
Today I experienced another faith reboot. I was out, and when I went to start my car to head home, it wouldn’t start. After trying to start it multiple times I decided to give it a break. Three things I noticed happening at once:
I wasn’t panicking or worried.
I was thinking of possible solutions immediately.
I was thinking “God, please don’t do this..”.
I prayed and asked God to please allow my car to turn on and to please allow whatever needed to happen for it to be fixed to happen. And sure enough, it turned on. All Glory to God. I fought the feeling of disappointment on the drive home, knowing I had to get my car checked out. Then my perspective changed when I realized I was actively experiencing a miracle. I was safely driving home with no issues. When I sat down to write this, I was thinking about the lack of worry and stress when I was praying to God to fix my car because I knew he would do it. The Holy Spirit spoke to me saying, “It’s the same God.”
I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I know and trust the one who makes it happen.
